The previous post wasn't aiming at my silly gf who thinks I was that angry at her. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

And to the person involved, see how much trouble you put me in? Fucker. Where were you when they were handing out brains? Let me guess, taking weed and getting high as usual? Of course.

MMS

What does that mean? Are you trying to say something? I hope that you know how much pain and confusion it caused me. The little actions and words that you don't do and don't speak are greater indications of what you actually do and speak. Ah well. Can't really do anything. It is your choice and decision after all.

And just came from the Medical Museum in my uni. Damn tiring trying to differentiate the FLMs of pathogens and such while writing down all the important points and factors to focus on to recognize them. Pissed me off big time. But I was with Dom so it was ok, discussed the pictures and all, in the end it was quite good. Though now I am worrying more cos I am afraid that I will forget the important facts and remember all the useless ones that will not come out. It always happens. Like I am cursed or something.

Maybe I am.

She believes in me

Bills paid thank God. Just got one more internet bill to pay in the noon. In the meantime, this song and lyrics just got some special ring at the moment. For me.

While she lays sleeping, I stay out late at night and play my songs
And sometimes all the night can be so long
And it's good when I finally make it home, all alone
While she lays dreaming, I try to get undressed without the light
And quietly she says how was your night?
And I come to her and say, it was all right, and I hold her tight

And she believes in me, I'll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday if she was my girl, I could change the world
With my little songs, I was wrong
But she has faith in me, and so I go on trying faithfully
And who knows maybe on some special night, if my song is right
I will find a way, find a way...

While she lays waiting, I stumble to the kitchen for a bite
Then I see my old guitar in the night
Just waiting for me like a secret friend, and there's no end
While she lays crying, I fumble with a melody or two
And I'm torn between the things that I should do
And she says to wake her up when I am through,
God her love is true...

And she believes in me, I'll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday if she was my girl, I could change the world
With my little songs, I was wrong
But she has faith in me, and so I go on trying faithfully
And who knows maybe on some special night, if my song is right
I will find a way, while she waits... while she waits for me.
----------------
Now playing: Kenny Rogers - She Believes In Me
via FoxyTunes

Bills bills bills

Just realized that I have tonnes of outstanding bills left to pay. SHIT. Have to waste valuable study time to go and pay. All the freaking way in KL and have to take the freaking LRT and cab. Damn the sad state of online paying here in Msia. So pissed with myself for not settling them earlier. Now there's extra charge for the internet as well, which is by far one of the worst providers I have used so far.

Hold on to me

It's ok to be afraid.

All we need is trust. And each other. Hold on to what we've got.

I am happy to tell you that I indeed am placing my trust in you, and you can in me too.

I know you are worried about yourself, and that I can't help you. Maybe you have the right to be. Maybe not.

All I know is that I love you and I do not want this to end this way.

With the reason that is time and distance. For we are capable of so much more.

So when I am gone, I go with the promise of returning. For you. So please wait? It is only 2 months.

Why Burma?

How to prove your point? How to show that you are good enough? My mind is a spinning world of confusion and more confusion. Pressured to do so many things. Pressured to get an A for EOS. Ah the insanity. Pop goes the weasel.

Hungry. My hunger pangs are increasing and getting more frequent. Why am I even posting these down? Random random random thoughts.

"I am a 15 year old Burmese boy forced to work in Msia as massage person. Friend say I good massager. So I get work. Call big old man ask him pay me for work. He say go Msia find work gooder. More money. So i go. Take boat. When reach Msia I have to call another old man. This man strange. Like to touch boys haha! I am man and I like touch girls. But this man funny I think he got head pain. Then man tell me I must have check-up to see if i work good. So I agree. I ask him will it hurt uncle? He say to call him daddy, Big Daddy. And he say if I like it then will not hurt. I say I understanding him because I have friend in Myammar also say got like that question when he try to get work in place name eXXXpedition. I need money bad so I say ok."

Ok now why did I post THAT down? Bloody hell. Hahahahaha. Just felt like it but yea don't worry, I am still Jon the guy in IMU doing something called Medicine. Walalalalalalala.

Righty then. Back to my pile of notes that I must by hook or by crook finish it before midnight today, or else it will disappear like the carriage pumpkin in Cinderella!! Noooooooooo!!!

Tattoo on Chest

What a day. So far. Woke up late, went out for lunch with her, came back, watch tv. Simpsons Halloween marathon. For almost 5hours straight now. So now I am trying to study. Been on this patho and immuno for far too long. Plus tomorrow morning I'll be busy helping out in IMU Open Day as a tour guide of the magnificent building that is IMU. RM15. Ah well. I don't really care about the money.

Life is good. Though I am kind of worried about the future. The near future that is. Future after EOS. The part where I am going back to Brunei till February before I can see her again. The one week during Raya was bad enough, now 2 whole months?! Argh I just hope that when I come back to Msia things and feelings will still stay the same if not better. Both on my part and hers.

Halloween

Damn full in the middle of the night. Now at current time 11.40pm. Why you ask. Or maybe you wouldn't. But sucks to you I'm going to post it up anyway. Had a lifegroup dinner gathering thing with PC my church's pastor together with the whole gang of IMU-ECFians. Excellent. Being able to be with my spiritual family again after a long time felt really good. For once I felt a sense of calm and peace in a long time. Happy days are back. Couldn't be at a better time. Oh happy days.

Tomorrow I'm gonna be a fool that I am and watch the Halloween Specials on StarWorld for the whole day. SIMPSONS!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah.


I would absolutely DETEST the 2nd Japanese anime version.

Retarded

I hate having sleepless nights.

So I am gonna smoke the day away. See my life rise up in a cloudy vision of despair and confusion.

Why can't things just be clearer?

And I am going to prove that I can study at home. So I am going to piss off now.

Spontaneous nonsense

This sudden attacks of cold and fever of mine is really starting to annoy the shit of out me. The whole day I will be fine then all of a sudden, bang. Just like that. I will be sniffling and then I will feel all warm. Then half an hour later I will be fine. But my mood will just be bad. Feeling annoyed at the slightest things. Just plain terrible. That after spending a great day with her in Midvalley watching a great movie in The Bourne Ultimatum and eating at Manhattan's Fish Market. Moods screw people up. Fact.

Taking a break, or trying to start?

So finally sat for my MUET oral exam. And with all due respect, and I am saying it with ALL due respect, it was a waste of time. Considering that I have already done A-level English Literature and IELTS. If I had nothing to do I wouldn't mind sitting in a group of 4 discussing about the sorry state of public transportation in Msia. But then I had to spend an entire morning waiting and waiting. Which was why I emphasized the point that public transport in Msia is inefficient due to the long long waiting periods. Hope they got the point. Plus I had to wake up at 6am this morning to get to the exam which allegedly supposed to start at 7.30am. Weeeeee.

Anyway have been pondering if I have enough time to spare to actually go out and have some fun or not. I mean a movie and all is fine, no problem at all, but what about a whole day out shopping? Or to Genting? Or ClubMed? Or The Click Five concert?? =D Say all you want but their new songs are actually different and meaningful. In one sense or the other. Hmmm. Should I go?

To be or not to be, that is the question

You know how everybody has their dilemmas? Mine is whether to go for CVS lectures or not since my EOS doesn't cover CVS, and I would gladly use the lecture times to study in the library. Or at home. Or sleep. But that's not the point. Sometimes these days, I don't even know what I am doing anymore. It is like I have lost track of my initial point of coming into IMU. Quite sad to lead a pointless life.

Anyway, I have to admit that my studies are finally getting somewhere. The doing-the-questions bit. I found out that I am not so screwed after all. Hmmm. Pressure on me is tremendous. I need to not only pass but get an A. Hope that all I am doing now is sufficient. Sigh. God please help me.

And to Geowin, Dom and Elaine, I am sorry if I have not been spending enough pre-exam time with you guys. I hope that you understand. Somehow will try to make it up to you ppl ok? Elaine don't cry haha. You know I still care bout you. Geowin, at least I get to see you in church. Dom, well, haha, library? Such is life. You all are still very important to me, but now I have the gf too, whom I am in love with, and pls understand and bear with me. This msg is long overdue I know but I guess I have to say it. Better late than never.

Oh and good luck for your oral MUET baby, though by the time you read this you would have already taken it.

Back to studies. How predictable of me.

Underneath it all

I wish the Earth opens up and swallows me whole. Then maybe these thoughts of mine wouldn't escape me, escape these four walls. Then maybe I can then get some peace. Away from the never-ending thoughts of doom of texts of knowledge.

Panic time

Tried to study but failed. Fell asleep instead. I feel like shit cuz I just fel like shit. Duno why. Don't ask, I wouldn't bother to answer. Just moody today. Hmmm. Disgusted with myself. Rarrrrrr. The urge to kick the crap out of somebody is huge. I hope I don't fail this exam. SIGH.

Addicted to you

Oh hohoho. Yep I am back. Finally. Guess no one bothered to go and pick me up from the airport eh? I am disappointed. Actually not. Whatever. Anyway, Brunei was good. And by that I mean getting to see parents and eat mum's cooking again. Stupid thing was that there was nothing to do but study, and even that was also so-so.

You know how we sometimes take things for-granted? What things? Hmm I duno, say maybe, just maybe, INTERNET?! Damn it, the net in Brunei couldn't be slower seriously. It takes forever to load a page, and it takes forever NOT to load a page as well. Shite.

Finally got to be with her again. Thank God. I was beginning to go insane already. The first thing I thought to myself when I saw her when she walked thru' my door was, "Wow, I've never been more glad to see a person in my life before." And then I screwed up the surprise that I had for her by just giving it to her directly. Man that was just plain stupid on my part. But no matter. Never thought that I would miss M'sia that much. I mean, one week in Brunei and I was already sick of it. And to think that I spent 17years there. Woohoo.

Anyway, it's good to be back. Lectures tomorrow then. Studies too. Joy.

the girlfriend says hi.

so jonathan's internet is down because brunei internet provider decided to change their cable or something. and being the thoughtful person that he is, he is afraid that you (imaginary) readers will be bored or thought that something horrible had happened to him.

but dont you worry. the silly boy is healthy and alive and kicking abide missing me alot.

so what's up with jonathan the wong these few days? hmm,

1) open houses
2) shopping for shorts/jackets/sweaters
3) studying his sem1 stuff
4) falling asleep on sofa
5) feeling sleepy everyday

basically its a lazy life there. its brunei what do you expect. seriously. luckily there's the mum who make it a point that he learns how to cook and drive her around and make him carry all the heavy stuff for her. long live mrs wong!! you are my idol!!

anyway jonathan will be back tomorrow morning. so if you are really so desperate to see him, you can pick him up from klia around 10am. tho please do not expect him to sit down and have a nice morning tea with you because he's due at my place at 12noon. you can talk about life and such with him on the way back to vista and disappear after that before he punches you in the face with his burly arms :)

so till then, dont miss him too much. be good, sleep early, drink more water and dont do drugs.

love,
sheah

The Simple Life

Don't you know the feeling of being absolutely helpless? Well I do. Knowing that she is in pain over in Msia and I'm over here in Brunei and not being able to do anything at all. Ah the simple things in life. Again.

And I am getting impatient. Impatient for Sunday. Faster damn it.

And damn this cold that I have too. I can't do anything without sniffling now. Donkey balls.

I've been pondering over what to write in this entry and I've come to a conclusion that there is in fact nothing to write. How tragic. Jonathan Wong lost for words.

Maybe a little Brunei update? Nothing new (surprise surprise), ppl here busy celebrating Raya. No new roads. No new buildings. Weather stinks of rain rain and more rain. Well today is sunny though. Sunny enough. Family is good, sister has O-levels going on right now - Bio practs. God bless her and her exams.

And that's it I guess for now. Back to studies. Sigh.

Oh and I miss you lots baby...

AIR

This has got to be one of the worst holidays so far. Stuck at home. Studying Sem1 notes. Doing PBL. Doing the damn AIR topic. When I could be going out having fun, or just driving around like a maniac in my car (mum's car now) like the good old days. And the shit state of the internet in Brunei disallows me to upload any pictures to my blog. I am not as free as to wait for half an hour for one photo. Woe betide me.

At least I have ASTRO with all the channels. Though it is pointless to watch anything by myself nowadays. It just feels.....different. Sigh.

It is already Monday when I am going back this Sunday. Goodness. Time really does flies. But I guess this time I am glad that it does. For reasons I am sure is well-known and I don't have to sacrifice my coolness level to explain and describe with my heart.

Yea I can hear ppl sniggering in the distance. But anything for love. It's ok.

And I can't place paragraphs in this entry. Pathetic.

Unbelievable

I can't believe it. Well actually I can. Cos it is happening to me right now. I mean, I know that I will miss her, but I didn't believe that I would miss her THIS much. Crazy. I miss her touch, scent, kiss...the way she runs her fingers through my hair...and it hurts not being able to be there with her when she needs me. What more can I say? Nothing. I am like a lost soul again. Waiting to get back to see her. Waiting waiting waiting...