Kanasai

Heading back to Msia tomorrow. Having mixed feelings about going back this time. I mean, there isn't anything to look forward too anymore, unlike before. Except for EOS 5. Yea that is such a great thing isn't it.

CNY had been ok. 2009 had been tough, very tough. Hope it looks up soon or I will kill something. Or someone. Plus the internet over in my vista apartment isn't working for MY laptop only, while my housemate can use it. Wtf wtf wtf. Not to forget my left knee still hurts. Think must be that time I was playing futsal and had a collision with Ah Loo. Damn.

One piece of good news is that Pink Panther 2 is releasing Feb 5th! I'm definitely gonna watch that haha. And this holiday had been a waste of my time in the sense that I haven't been studying much. Sigh. Other than doing PBL and the 1st week of MSK. Should've brought back my Sem3 stuff. Ahh who am I kidding. Probably can't concentrate anyway, so what the hell.

I need a drink. Big time. Let's see if I can get a bottle of Chivas at KLIA.

Miss

Haven't had this feeling for so long. The feeling of missing someone so badly I feel like an insane person.

Agonizing.

It is just so damn hard to let go. Can't? Or won't?

Think it's both. Sob. Not SOB ok.

Wish it wasn't CNY now

Flames to dust,
Lovers to friends,
Why do all good things come to an end?

When it's time.

The world is a cruel place. But every time I feel like giving up, you were there for me.

Thanks for everything.

Now it is just you and me world.

Just you and me.

Plus I'm going back to Brunei tomorrow for CNY week. Oh just kill me.

Flip it all back

It seems everyone has their story to tell. But sometimes all it takes is just for someone to listen to you and hear you out. And hopefully giving you good advice.

2009 suddenly showed its ugly side. So soon. Maybe my ignorance has been a mistake. Fluctuating. Just like the currency and the economy lately. Why can't you just stay fixed? Humans and their emotions. Sometimes I think they are a big mistake in this world.

Wow found someone who went through something similar. Amazing what God sends to you when you are in need. Just have to keep an open eye and open heart. Thanks.

Started on CVS today but couldn't continue for more than 4 notes. Do not wish to elaborate. I wish I have a cupboard that I can go to and hide away from the world and pray that when I open it the thunder will have passed.

The insignificance.

The Speech of the Century

OBAMA:

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

If I may

Sometimes I wish I can understand all the undertones and hidden meanings.

Sometimes I wish I can read people's minds.

Sometimes I wish I know what other people want from me.

Sometimes I wish I can turn back time.

Sometimes I wish I can make people see how sorry I am.

Sometimes I wish I actually think.

Sometimes I wish apologizes still work as before because they are really meant.

Sometimes I think you deserve better.

But somehow I hope love can conquer all.

Enthu

Ah Sundays. The day for some rest and relaxation. Guess what I did? Went to volunteer myself to help out in IMU for their Open Day. Full day as well. RM30. Not bad I suppose. Now I am dead tired though from the whole day of standing and talking. This coupled with the fact that I only had 4 hours of sleep the night before. Yawns.

Man Utd back at the top of the table again! Come on Man Utd!

Heart break

Can't believe with all the TV and internet and PSP and car, I am bored. As in really bored. Plus it is my last week of holidays before my Sem 5 starts, so I am trying to refrain from studying at the moment.

Maybe I should take a late night drive around. But it is Tuesday. And there is nothing around. Pfft.

Luckily for me I don't slip easily into depression.

Stop the blood trade

Good morning, this ain't Vietnam still
People lose hands, legs, arms for real
Little was known about Sierra Leone
And how it connects to the diamonds we own
When I speak of diamonds in this song
I ain't talking bout the ones that be glowin'
I'm talking bout RocAFella, my home, my chain
These ain't conflict diamonds, is they Jacob? Don't lie to me man!
See, a part of me sayin' keep shinin'
How? When I know of them blood diamonds
Though it's thousands of miles away
Sierra Leone connects to what we go through today
Over here, it's the drug trade, we die from drugs
Over there, they die from what we buy from drugs
The diamonds, the chains, the bracelets, the charmses
I thought my Jesus piece was so harmless

'till I saw a picture of a shorty armless

And here's the conflict.

Kanye

"If you admire somebody, you should go head and tell em',
People never get the flowers, while they can still smell em'." - Kanye West

"I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man." - Jay-Z

On a separate note, Happy 16 months to us!

Haha it works

Stupid

Just came back from Sanctuary. And got raided by the police. And Aaron was drunk and sleeping while Jimmy, Kim, Ghi Waie and Ru Fah (of all people haha) got detained inside the club with 100 others to have their urine samples taken and tested.

I sneaked out with the others haha.

Tu lan. What a waste. Just when we had enough to drink and got a table on the fucking crowded night and just got into the dance mood.

Hear the guitar weep

Watching this video and listening to this song actually made me cry. As in teared. Wait for the guitar solo towards the last 2 minutes of the song. Mannnnnnnnnnnn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O_YMLDvvnw

Gary Moore - Still Got The Blues

Use to be so easy
To give my heart away
But I found that the heartache
was the price you have to pay
I found that that love is no friend of mine
I should have known time after time

So long
it was so long ago
But I've still got the blues for you

Use to be so easy
Fall in love again
But I found that the heartache
It's a road that leads to pain
I found that love is more than just a game
Play and to win
but you lose just the same

So long
it was so long ago
But I've still got the blues for you

So many years since I saw your face
You will my heart
there's an empty space
Used to be

(SOLO)

So long
it was so long ago
But I've still got the blues for you

Golden days come and go
There is one thing I know
I've still got the blues for you.

Shiny sun

Well. A week into 2009 and so far so good. Hasn't been particularly interesting or exciting, just that nothing bad has happened yet. On the final few days of my Sem 4 rotations. Can't wait to go out this weekend, since by then the gf would have finished her EOS. I shall start worrying about my Sem 5 later. Soon.

Why are we given classes on ethics? Ethics is best learnt through wide reading of newspapers and reading forums and analyzing and discussing issues with others. The class is always too quiet and conservative over in this part of the world anyway, so might as well just talk about it among ourselves right? After all there is no right or wrong in ethics; just what you think is the best or right decision. Plus it is unethical to force us to go for the classes as it is against our human rights haha.

Yea I'm just bored and looking for something to think and blog about.

2009

Happy New Year 2009! May it bring lots of joy, happiness and world peace. Yeah why not.

My 2008 in review:

1) Celebrated 1 year with the gf on 11th September 08.

2) Turned 20.

3) Spain won Euro 08 with Torres scoring the only goal in the finals against Germany.

4) Man Utd beat Chelsea on penalties in Champions League Finals!! Wooooo!

5) Lee Chong Wei lost to Lin Dan in the finals of Men's Singles badminton of the Beijing Olympic Games. Lost terribly too.

6) Beijing Olympic Games.

7) IMU Cup! Still think we could've won basketball.

8) Successfully finished 2 years of medical uni. Lots more to go.

9) Malaysian Opposition Party won the majority of the seats for the first time.

10) Ate a lot of mamak food and got fatter.

11) Obama won the election race to be the next President of the US, becoming the first black president of USA.

12) Federer doesn't seem invincible anymore.

13) Gf's house broken into, thus hastening the installation of alarm and CCTV.

There are probably lots more that I didn't manage to cover in this list (obviously, there are only 13 here), but those are the important ones to me. Didn't make any resolutions this year. Don't have a wish-list kind of thing either. And my flight back to KL is later tonight, and the gf's birthday is tomorrow!

Bring on Sem5 I say.